


The Scars We Cannot Always See

by Lady_Kaie



Series: The Light That Has Returned [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Caring, F/M, Gen, Healing, M/M, Multi, Other, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Tenderness, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24736099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Kaie/pseuds/Lady_Kaie
Summary: Ignis isnt fully healed from the war... sometimes when hes alone the darkness creeps back up to haunt him.  The difference now is that he has someone to help him...Savin Me by Nickelback for inspiration.
Relationships: Ignis Scientia/Original Female Character(s), Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Series: The Light That Has Returned [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711141
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Fallen

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own or profit from anything related to FFXV, square enix or nickelback.

Most days Ignis could hold himself together with all of the vaunted will power everyone accused him of having in abundance. Other days he struggled but somehow still came out on top. Then there were the days that snuck up on him with their dagger like claws and before he knew it, those sharp little points had snuck deep beneath his skin and latched on tight, threatening to shred him to pieces should he dare move.

He never really knew when or why these moments would find him but they always seemed to bloom when there was nothing troubling him, where his days were bright and happ and there wasn't a cloud of doom in sight. A few days before the main event he received his warnings, aches and pains behind his eyes like they were on fire and naturally the fear would start. The fear of that darkness he had lived in for months until Luna reached him and offered her healing powers to restore his sight, would rear up and nearly strangle him to within an inch of his life.

With the panic came his other fears and failures that dictated his life in those horrid days of indecision and abandonment the others hadn’t had a choice but to follow through on. The breaks in his emotional armor would start to show as the burn reached its zenith, a phantom of what once was that the doctor’s had no explanation for save for the fact that it was in his mind…

A ghost… a lingering spirit that fed off of his absolute terror that he would slide back into that horrendous past and truly lose those who meant anything to him. Who would want a cripple that had nothing to offer but the burden of caring for him. No one… no one would want that task.

Not his friends and not …

Not his Meryda.

She would never want him should he suddenly be incapable or at worst, an invalid bent on needing her guidance in this world. He was strong, sure, capable and all of those other synonyms that people consistently associated with him, Ignis Scientia. There wasn’t room for weakness or fear…

The weekend finally reared its monstrous head of lonely days that were both blessing and a curse. The crowds could no longer flock to his office, needing his expertise or advice on a mundane matter that didn’t have bearing on how the Citadel or the Crown City functioned. However, he was alone, which was never good in these torturous times, and what was worse, he sabotaged himself by keeping his friends at bay. They had no means of contacting him or reaching him should he so choose due to his building having a strict policy of admitting individuals by key card only or being buzzed in by a resident. At times they had found a way into the building, but even getting up to his apartment wasn’t full proof in reaching him.

So today, on a lonely Saturday with the walls closing in, Ignis clambered from his bed and drew the curtains on the world outside so that he could live in the darkness that had haunted his dreams the entire night before. He had tossed and turned, struggling to fight off the terrors that came with the remembered darkness Eos had once been overtaken by, but he was rarely the victor.

By the afternoon he was in pain and angry at everything that did or did not help him. Because that’s what a man had to hold onto when the fear grew past the boundaries made for it, he fed from his rage and hurt that had never fully healed despite the time that had passed.

The buzz of his cell phone had the Advisor cracking his tired eyes open with a malicious glare in them and when he reached clumsily for the device, he found that he had nearly ten missed calls. The texts had also started coming in, each man knowing that it was that time where Iggy needed someone but refused to lean on anyone.

Why would he?

This was a matter to be solved on his own!

Hadn’t he done everything on his own thus far?

Growling at his own stupidity for denying himself comfort and companionship, he whipped his cellular across the room with a harsh jerk of his wrist and listened to it crash and crack against the wall. Come Monday he would be mad about having to deal with the hassle of repairing it, but for right now, the sound of something breaking fed into that unending pit of anger making him feel calmer for just a split second.

His apartment was silent enough that the voices in his mind reared up, sounds and screams from battles long passed thrusting their way through his consciousness until the tears came, and silently, alone in the chosen darkness, the Advisor wept. Somewhere amongst the chaos his sorrow turned and twisted into futile frustration that once more he was suffering through these inane emotions that didn’t have a place in his life.

Curled like a child on his bed, whimpering and whining for anyone to hear him and come…

To just come and promise that it would go away and he would be whole again because no matter how hard he had tried, War had left its scars seared in his brain and they became infected only to seep over into all of the good he had built for himself.

Ignis slid his hands up into his hair, yanking at the wild strands until his scalp hurt and then he became more desperate to make it all stop. With a shout that came from the recesses of his soul Ignis tore through his home, knocking over lamps and furniture until nothing was standing beneath his fury. Though this did not deter him so he turned to the last bits and pieces of furniture that could take his abuse.

From beyond the doors, those who would have heard such a scene might have thought it was violence between lovers with the screaming and the sobbing but they would have been wrong as it all came from the same man. A man who was strong at all times and then when he wasn’t, he crumbled.

Each time he had to pull himself back together, Ignis wondered how he was going to achieve the same results he had somehow succeeded garnering in the past. This time he wasn’t sure he would be able to.

His chest ached from the exertion, his body heavy with an ache that had settled in his muscles now that he was still and kneeling in the center of his destroyed living room on his knees. Glancing down, even in the dark space, he could see the jagged cuts and tears along his hands from using them on hard surfaces that were not yielding. The pain was raw but it grounded him to the moment even though he was dripping on the ground and his nerves were screaming in protest.

“Get up Scientia…” Get up he told himself, yet how could he hope to get his feet under him without falling onto his face for the effort? Of course he tried, and of course he fell only to slip on the blood covering the ground until he was laying flat on his stomach slick with the crimson fluid.

More shouts, more pounds of his fist against the hard marble tile beneath him, and once more… pain.

Because pain was a constant. Pain would never leave you when everything else did. Pain was always there and it always would be.

That’s what he deserved in this life, at least its what his mind told him as the nightmares forced their way into the waking world and all of his defenses were long gone. “No one is coming for you… No one…” He whimpered against the ground, curling his arms up against his chest as he shifted his limbs until he was in a fetal position, crying out into the darkness at the demons that would not show him mercy…

Astrals… someone…

An Angel? Anything… anyone…

Someone help me…

“Iggy?” 

Tears continued streaming down his face though his lips found the strength to curl upward before they set to trembling and the darkness caved in on him. Hold onto it Ignis… hold onto her…

Someone had shown him mercy by pushing that sweet voice through his psyche and he was going to have to claw and cling to that scrap of hope for all that he was worth lest he be devoured by the demons bearing down over his broken body. They were waiting…  
Waiting for him to finally give up. It would just take the one time…

******

“Meryda…. You have to get to Iggy… He isn’t answering our calls and we can’t get in to his building. He’s not ok.” Noctis’ voice was panicked in a way that the Priestess had never heard before and the moment he said Ignis’ name she knew what was wrong.

“I’m on my way.” Meryda hung up without another word and fled from the kitchen where she had retreated to in order to answer the third call during her supper, and made a beeline for the front door.

Myori met her daughter before she could take hold of the door handle and put herself in front of the structure. “Where are you going?”

Panic gripped her, but not for herself, for the fact that she was just that many more seconds separated from Ignis by someone who didn’t understand. She had watched him over the past year and a half, when the world went back to the way it should have always been, but War heroes couldn’t find their way back to the past. They remained haunted though they tried to mingle with the masses and make pretend that the battlefield didn’t sometimes still call out to them streaked red and littered with the dead of both sides.

That didn’t leave a person. It hadn’t left her and it hadn’t left Ignis. Meryda had her family to help her through but Ignis took it all on his own shoulders and he was close to falling beneath the sword of his foe. Closer and closer the nightmare cut through his flesh until he was weak and low on the blood necessary to sustain him. 

There was no way Meryda was leaving him to suffer this in silence. Meryda didn’t even speak to her mother as she wrangled her away from the door and then ran out of it. She had her black supper dress and high heeled shoes on as she hit the pavement when she realized that her keys and purse was still inside the house. Damnit!

Jumping to the side of the street she stuck her hand up in the air to hail a cab and when one pulled over she ripped the door and jumped inside. “I don’t have any money on me… but I’ll give you these to get me where I need to go.” Meryda took off the karat teardrop diamond earings from her ears and handed them to the driver. Those would have gotten her to Altissa!

“Sure thing… where to?”

“The Citadel district. 2nd street, Crown City Skyline building. And if you could step on it… it’s an emergency.” 

“Sure thing.” The driver slammed on the gas, which through the woman in the backseat sharply against the unforgiving padding and they were off.

It took Meryda a few moments to get herself situated in the backseat after being jostled but she was upright and watching the street lights fly past which meant she was that much closer to Ignis. Please please be okay…

There was a terrible nagging in the very back of her mind that would not relent and try as she might she couldn’t shake it. Her knuckles were white against the headrest of the front seat by the time the driver pulled up to the entrance of the building and before he had stopped completely she was out of the car.

Stumbling, she waived off the doorman who had come to help and once her feet were back under her body she bolted for the front door. “Shit! Forgot my key!”

“It’s ok Ms. Strigan. I know you are here to see Mr. Scientia. You have a good night now.” The elderly man replied with a somewhat worried smile, holding his keycard up to the panel he opened the door when it lit up green.

“Thank you Arthur.” Meryda barely got the words out of her mouth because when she entered the building she sprinted for the elevator. Thankfully it was already on the ground floor so she didn’t have to take the stairs out of desperation. As it was, the ride up felt like an eternity but it did give her time to get her heels off of her feet so that when the doors chimed open, she was running in her tights along the carpeted strip down the hallway.

“Shit!” She cursed upon arrival at the apartment door, remembering once again that she didn’t have keys. “Damnit fuck fuck fuck!” She wanted to bang and pound on the door but knew that it wouldn’t do her any good to get so pissed and react that way. What would help is if she was calm…

Though her only hope was that the door was unlocked…

Praying to the Astral’s above, Meryda closed her eyes and reached for the handle only to have it give way under the pressure she applied. “Thank you thank you!” Her gaze was cast heavenward for a split second and then she was ducking into the pitch black apartment where she heard Ignis before she saw him…

“Iggy?” Her voice trembled ever so slightly, the sounds of her lover startling her completely now that she could hear past the pounding of her heart in her ears. What she heard was Ignis laying somewhere on the floor, sobbing. “Oh Iggy.” she whispered quietly before she dropped her heels and made her way to where she thought he was.

Ignis felt something collide with his shoulder and then there was warmth surrounding him. He heard her voice call to him but was it real or just another touch of hysteria that would not let him free? Chancing a sliver of hope, he whispered, “Meryda?”

“I’m here Iggy… I’m here.” She had stepped in something wet and there was glass in her knee but she didn’t care as she got her hands underneath Ignis and helped him sit up. His anger was a powerful force in the room, but the sorrow flowing out of him in waves nearly choked her. Her poor Ignis… “I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.” She bit out as she forced her tears to keep their distance. 

Ignis’ body was weak and all but dead weight as Meryda got under him, draping his arm over her shoulder and finding a safe place to grip low on his hip so that he was against her body but so that she could also help shift his body forward. 

“Why did you come?” He said with an almost hostile air but the woman ignored it.

“Because you needed me.” Meryda wanted to scream and rant at him for asking such a horrible question but this wasn’t the Ignis who was strong and sure, this was the one who had never healed from a traumatic event during the war and didn’t know how to respond to others when they came to his aid. No one had really helped him during the war because there hadn’t been time and Ignis was not one to demand aid. He was the strength, the presence in the group that everyone else turned to for guidance and when he was gone no one knew how to do it for him.

It wasn’t their fault…

It just was.

“You should go back home. It’s Saturday.” His voice was just this side of condemning almost stating that she would rather be away from him and at one of the pointless suppers her mother was still forcing. 

Again, Meryda ignored it and finally got them to the guest bathroom where she could clean him up. Settling Ignis down on the steps to the large tub she moved to turn on the lights, as dimly as possible so as not to trouble his senses but so that she could still work. Meryda knew that when she saw Ignis for the first time in the light it would be gut wrenching, but she still wasn’t entirely prepared for the sight.

His hair was sticking to him by way of blood and sweat while his bare chest was streaked in the red fluid that was coming from multiple little lacerations on his torso and worst of all his hands. They were tattered from abuse, bloody and raw, where the most damage lay on the side all the way up his pinky that was twitching involuntarily. Neutrally, she catalogued his injuries and made mental notes of what she would need to clean him up, while the emotional content was pushed to the wayside.

Had she reacted the way she wanted to, the rest of his apartment would have resembled the living room, or what she imagined it to look like, because she was in a hell of a mood to throw a fit. 

Why have you not let someone help you Ignis… Her eyes drifted such in an attempt to wrangle her upset beneath her control and thankfully her lover never looked up. Sitting on the dark tiled steps, he merely bowed his head and continued to take labored breaths with who knew what going through his exhausted mind. “I’m going to go get what I need to clean you up.” She told him matter of factly.

Ignis flinched to be told he would be alone again and lashed out now that he had a real target that would fight him. “Fine. Better hurry before I’m more damaged than I already am. Who would want me like that…” That anger was back at the forefront, lacerating his words with hate and malice but Meryda knew it wasn’t really for her.

She turned to leave the room, knowing that she needed to be as quick as possible to retrieve the items. When Ignis had gone blind in the war it had been a very dark place for him as it was a turning point and morale was down to absolutely nothing. Gladiolus, Prompto and Noctis were dealt a damaging blow to lose Ignis’ abilities as they had been at that point, and it was almost a victory for Niflheim.

Luna and her Priestesses had been out in other locations, ferrying their people out of Tenebrae for the final stand when they got the call. They hadn’t been able to come right away because the safety of their home was paramount to their survival in whatever that would look like in the future. Not having a people meant not having a Tenebrae.

The four made their way north as best they could with the obstacles thrown at them and when they were close enough Luna and herself had braved the battlefields to get to their hiding location. Had Niflheim known that the King was there they would have pulled all of their forces to eradicate Tenebrae in a second. Noctis had been hiding underground for close to a year when Ardyn found him the first time and Ignis made his sacrifice to protect his King. 

They had been trapped in that supply cave for nearly a month before they had dug themselves out and in that time Luna healed Ignis steadily until he had been able to see again without complications but the damage had been done. He had lost part of himself that he was trying desperately to get back and for some reason he was unable.

Meryda whipped the vials and bandages out of the cabinet, catching her reflection in the mirror. She had blood smeared down her neck, her dress was misshapen in various locations from Ignis’ weight and her tights were ripped up from the glass that had cut through her skin. Despite the damage, she could see the blue fire in her gaze burning bright and it was that flame of strength that would not let her fail today.

Not today and not ever. For this man she would always fight even against him should it be necessary. Stalking from the masterbath where Ignis kept his med kit, Meryda made her way back into the bathroom and helped her lover lay down on a fresh towel she retrieved from the closet.

For a long hour, Meryda extracted bits of debris from his body with the small tweezers he kept for such situations. The snide remarks and biting words continued to come at her, and she let him. All that he needed to unleash, she allowed it, proving his fears wrong at every turn because she continued to stay.

She continued to be right by his side despite the denial that she should be. 

When the warrior was satisfied with her work,, after a final check, she helped him up and stripped out of her own things once he was bare, and eased them both into the shower. There was a medicated rinse that would help clean the wounds that she had found and would undoubtedly sting like hell, but with the state of his body, it would be best to just put him in the shower.

“I’m fine.” He tried again weakly, allowing Meryda to manuever him beneath the spray even as his mind continued to rant and rave at the fact that he was so terribly undeserving of this kindness.

Look at you… a mess… why should she deal with you? Why would she want someone who is broken and can’t get over something that didn’t last? She deserves more than you Ignis… you’ve always known it but you just had to have her. You had to pollute her… 

Ignis grunted at the sting of the rinse but more so against the voice in his mind that would not leave him be! “AAHHHH!” He reared back and away from the woman trying her damndest to both support and clean him, slamming himself against the cold walls where he set his head roughly against the tiles.

He got in two hits before Meryda wrestled him down to the ground and tucked his head tightly against her breasts, soft and warm instead of cold and unforgiving. “Stop it!” Her temper finally snapped as she clutched him tighter, refusing to let him move.

“Just let me go! I failed! I failed then and I failed now!” Couldn’t she see it? See the failure that he was by not finishing Ardyn and not ending the war when he had been given all of the tools to do so! They all lied to his face and told him what he had done had been enough…

That he had been enough…

When so many more died after that battle because he hadn’t been enough!

Ignis’ fingers dug into her arms forcefully, but Meryda said nothing, she just closed her eyes and put her cheek to the top of his head while Ignis screamed out his hatred for himself and the guilt he had stored for the end result of a war that was never going to end well. If there had been a target for Meryda to eradicate, to make him feel even the tiniest bit better, she would have done it without hesitation.

But there was nothing she could offer save the warmth of her arms and body that was nearly strangling his form, and the promise that she would always be there. She only hoped he could feel her devotion as she cradled him close, unwilling to let him go though he pushed at her, scratched her arms and back while he fought to be released yet stay pressed to her. This was what the ravages of war did to a person and she had thought her Ignis was free of such savage brutalities, but now she knew he had not been. I’m here Ignis… forever… I swear it!

As he wept, Meryda too wept with him but not once did her grip lighten around his exhausted frame and long after the water had gone cold they remained huddled together, extracting the poisons as one instead of a broken man alone. 

When Meryda eventually opened her eyes, Ignis spent and exhausted in her arms, she looked down and took in the sight of him. There was so much work to be done…

Wait…

Where were the cuts? Gently, she picked up his hand from her shoulder and took in the sight of perfect skin without a single blemish over the expanse of the pale wonders. Not a mark…

How?

Ignis looked up as Meryda began to check him, her beautiful face was streaked in water droplets, hair wet and heavy about her plump cheeks, it was her eyes that took his breath away. Those brilliant blue orbs he had come to know better than any other who claimed to know her, were like two gleaming diamonds put beneath the light of the sun. Bright white and radiating with an internal light only magic could conjure, he lay in thrall against her as he felt his body regenerate and all of those pains he had inflicted upon himself were a memory.

“You came.” He whimpered, reaching to cup her cheek in his palm as the haze began to clear. His angel…

“I would always come. Always. Forever.” Didn’t he know that yet? DIdn’t he know that when his heart ached hers responded in kind. That when something hurt him the protector in her raged for blood to be spilt as retribution! “I love you Ignis Scientia. You are mine. I will always be here for you.” Even when she was too weak to tend to herself, she would find the strength he needed of her. 

Ignis’ lower lip trembled and this time when he wept, Meryda could see her beloved staring back at her and not the monster that had gotten its claws into him, sucking him back to the darkness that did not belong in this world. “They just won’t stop sometimes…”

The voices. Meryda smiled softly, catching the pad of his thumb against her lips and then she lowered them to his forehead. Gently, she caressed through his soaked blond locks, her back bowing to cover him from the frigid water that continued to pour down around them, “Then listen to me Ignis. Listen to what I have to say... “ She choked back her tears and forged on.

“That you are the most amazing person I have ever met. That you are so strong even when you don’t know it. Even when you have hard days. You are strong my love. And when you can’t be it is ok. You never failed then… that war was not one that you could win on your own. Your sacrifice was beautiful and you have every right to feel the pain that you do. We all failed each other at times… and we have all forgiven each other.” Meryda tilted Ignis’ chin upward, her eyes still burning brightly as she closed them and pressed upon him a heartfelt kiss that shivered its way through his entire being. “Forgive yourself my love… you can. It’s ok to let it go… you don’t need to hold onto it anymore.”

It was ok?

Ignis’ brow furrowed at something so wonderfully simple that he almost laughed at how foolish it sounded until he realized that she was right. No one had ever told him to just let it go so he had continued to ingest the poisonous thoughts until they threatened his very life. He had certainly never told himself to release the pain… he hadn’t been able to.

“Can I?”

Meryda smiled gently and kissed this man again, pouring her love and devotion into the touch so that if he could take from her what he needed to make the first step forward in forgiving himself something that he never needed to forgive. “Yes you can.” She summoned the strength she had in her and turned the water off. With the help of the man in her arms, Meryda merely wrapped them both up in two robes and led the way to the bedroom where she eased Ignis into bed and then herself.

He came immediately into her arms before she could really settle, but Meryda didn’t care. “Sleep now Iggy… I’ll be here.”

“All night?”

“All night.” She swore to them both. There would be much to do come morning but for now she needed to ensure that a moment like this never went so wrong. This would not be the end of Ignis’ struggle, just like the others still had their own moments of torment, but it would be the last that he suffered on his own. She would make sure of it.

**********

Theres just a finish up chap to smooth things over. Stay tuned. Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group comes together and takes care of the one man who always cared for them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own nor profit from FFXV or Square Enix

Unaware and uncaring of the time, Meryda felt her body pulled from the restless slumber it had succumbed to after a few hours of holding and fretting over the man who had passed out against her. This was not the worst reaction she had witnessed in response to old battle scars however it was by far the worst she had ever thought to see from Ignis of all people. Day in and day out he guarded all of that agony for himself, refusing to let others near, but now that she knew, she would learn to read for the signs and ensure that she was there throughout the future moments to come.

As it was now, the anger was gone and what she felt in its place was desperation and loneliness. Strong, sure hands roamed her body at a feverish pace, feeling and touching at the little areas on her body that couldn’t help but react to touch so that when she opened her eyes that were still clouded with sleep, she was ready and wanting. The raw intensity of Ignis’ desire flooded her senses in a rush, drawing her from the shadows of her dreams and back to the present.

“Iggy…” She breathed his name, gasping out in surprise as a hot mouth swallowed down the tip of her breast and sucked harshly. Fingers flying to the head anchored at her chest, Meryda’s back arched and this time when she fought her eyes open it wasn’t because she was sleepy. “Oh heavens…”

“I need you…” It was a question, statement, and a desperate need that turned around his rough lilt all in a bid to make her complacent. Ha. As though she would deny him? Never. He could use her body for his needs and she would never turn him away.

“You have me.” she swore to him , whimpering as his fingers found that moist spot between her thighs, trailing heated paths against her flesh until it was too much and her need for him matched his for her.

Ignis continued his descent, spurned on by his need to taste her, to bring her to the pleasure she always let herself fall prey to. Only at his hands. Only he had ever been worthy! No other. Just him. “Mine… Always mine. Only mine.” He whimpered against her rounded tummy, licking the quivering flesh in rapid laps before shrugging out of his robe and casting it to the ground with a quick toss. He wanted nothing between them.

The searing heat of her flesh against his shoulders anchored him to the reality that they were together and when he parted the gates to heaven and leaned in for his first taste of ambrosia, he groaned in response to her exquisite offering. “Oh my Darling… forgive me.”

“I forgive you nothing because there is nothing to forgive.” Meryda choked out, her fingertips threaded into the sheets until she was sure they would rip beneath her nails. There were many facets to Ignis’ personality, some she had explored and others she hadn’t come close to touching.

This one… the one that was needy and desperate and all consuming was new. And it was going to devour her whole.

Ignis set to Meryda’s lower lips with a fervor, tasting all of her that he could until he was drunk on her taste but he still couldn’t get enough. Her moans and grunts of pleasure/pain were a perfect salve to his broken mind, repairing the damage done over years of isolation. But he needed more.

He needed all of her.

One orgasm wasn’t enough, he drove her to a second and drank her down before sliding up her aching body and sliding deep within the pulsing channel that was far too sensitive to not hurt. 

Meryda cried out as Ignis joined with her and clutched to his shoulders, her legs immediately finding their post around his narrow hips. “Oh Iggy…” 

“My Darling… You feel so exquisite. So warm… so tight around me.” He wanted all of her gorgeous body to strangle out those demons so that all he could feel was her against and inside of him. “Put your hands on me my Darling please, I beg of you.” 

Green eyes were wild in the slashes of moonlight that had broken through the curtains, illuminating Ignis’ beauty and more than that, his humanity. He was no God, but he was so beautifully flawed and it was all for her. This desperation, this weakness he hid away, was all hers and she wanted it all.

The way he clung to her body like she was the only thing keeping him afloat in all of the world struck something deep inside of her soul and bound her that much closer to him. Her hands reached and touched in all of the little places he liked, scratching, pinching, and stroking. Each time he asked for more it was his.

Ignis took Meryda with rushed strokes, ensuring that he touched every single inch of that snug wet heat he was trapped inside of, trapped without a hope for freedom and by Gods he didn’t want it. She could keep him inside of her for the rest of eternity and he would gladly stay. 

Eventually Ignis’ rhythm stuttered and his cry of completion rang out louder than her own. Head thrown back and eyes blown wide, he released deep inside of his beloved as his lungs purged the rest of his pain he had been holding onto. When the rush was over, he collapsed down onto his elbows and set his lips against Meryda’s.

It was meant to be a gentle touch, just a brief encounter, but the instant her pink tongue traced the seam of his mouth he opened to her and lost himself. Groaning, he put his hand to her jaw and coaxed it open further with a swipe of his thumb. Angling his face over hers, he delved deep, stroking against her tongue as his lower body began to harden in response to her eager moans.

Meryda’s hands flew to Ignis’ shoulders in an attempt for stability but there was to be none as he began to move once more, stroking her desires back to life like a gust of wind to a dying fire. Thankfully, this time he maintained a languid pace, taking time to feel and experience the texture of her walls against his hard shaft so that when she came again, Meryda was nothing but a quivering wreck of nerves in his arms.

“Again.” She whispered against his lips, positive that the possessions that had been holding him back were almost purged. Just a little bit more and he would be free. She would consume it all beneath her light, only for him and at long last he would know peace. 

Ignis could not deny her, nor the unending need he felt to lose himself in these strong arms that hadn’t let him go since her arrival. “You’re sure?” He whimpered as her hips began to shift, searching for the friction that he was denying for the moment. Should he really let himself go, he wasn’t sure when any of this would end. He was desperate for her…

“I said again Ignis.” Meryda nipped his jaw in warning when he didn’t immediately comply. The sharp demand and sharper jolt of pain compelled him to offer himself up onto her altar. He would do anything she demanded of him.

Falling to the gorgeous creature who commanded him at her whim, he lost himself and dragged her along for the ride. Not long after he began and time no longer held shape, all that existed was Meryda’s sweet breaths against his neck and her words of encouragement that replaced all of the nastiness he had told himself for so long. Not once did she yield, she met him pace for pace and touch for touch.

At times he was gentle, hard, fast, slow… rough, and she accepted every bit of his passion, meeting it with her own so that in the aftermath they were both wrapped so tightly around the other that at long last they felt like they had breached the impossible and were one entire being.

Meryda ached in places, her body bruised and sore, but beyond it there was pleasure that would not be denied. There was a particular ache in her breasts and atop one she could feel the sting of Ignis’ teeth as though they were still embedded in her skin. It would be a mark that stayed with her for a few days time, but she had wanted it. Perhaps even, she had needed it.

“Was I too rough?” There was a note of worry in Ignis’ heavy voice as they panted out the exertion of the past several encounters. The last thing he would ever want was to hurt her. In fact, he wasn’t even sure where half of what they had done had come from, but he was relieved for it.

“No. It was everything we needed.” Meryda whispered in reassurance against his lips, nuzzling against him tenderly. She was exhausted and it was perfection. “Are you alright?” Of course she was still worried for him because his slip from reality had not been a kind one.

Ignis smiled. He had practically attacked this woman and she was concerned for his well being? What an angel… “Only if you are. I fear I went too far.” He kissed gently at her forehead, his arms trembling now that they were still and the after effects of their shared passion was easing out of him. Now he felt heavy and fatigued.

“I am fine. You did not go too far. I would have told you.” She had promised that she always would even if it had been a bit of a fib. Though nothing had been too much during their moment, she had needed it just as much as he had. To see his need so openly and honestly expressed in her arms promised more to her than words could have. He was healing and though it would take much more time, she had made her place in this situation so when it came for him again, he would call for her instead of facing it alone.

“Meryda?” He asked huskily, the exertion of the past several hours catching up to him as he struggled to stay awake. 

“Iggy?” Meryda responded, her own body tugging at her for rest but she would not allow it until she made sure this gorgeous man in her arms was ready to be alone with his dreams.

The words she had said in the shower had haunted him while he slept earlier, shouting that they were only words, nothing more. That there had been no meaning behind them other than to quiet him for the time being. But had they been more than mere words strung together for his benefit? Or had they been a heartfelt sentiment that she offered as an oath between them?

“I…” How could one ask this? He wasn’t sure…

But he didn’t have to. Meryda knew what he wanted to ask. Her arms left their post around Ignis’ lightly tan broad shoulders and shifted upward so that her hands were on his cheeks, guiding his gaze down to her own that was back to its original blue hue. “I meant it Ignis. I love you. I think I always have.” Ever since the war when they met and his kind smile etched itself into her memory for the rest of time, coming to her when she seemed to need it most during those trying times. 

Ignis smiled and nodded his agreement. “Me too. The moment I saw you I knew you were someone special… like an angel amongst the chaos, sent down to save my soul from the darkness.” His angel. His Goddess…

Or whatever other divine creature he could call her, because that was how he saw her. A benevolent being that had brought light into his dim world, chasing away all that could hurt him, and here she had done it once more. “I love you so very much my Darling.” Burying his nose into her hair, he curled his arms around her back and held on tight, not willing or ready to let go of her.

Meryda didn’t want him to let go of her, so she held him just as tightly and found her spot against his neck. There weren’t many more moments spent in the waking world for either of them, and though their dreams were not shared, all that they had partaken in over the last few hours was enough to silence the voice in Ignis’ mind so that instead what he heard was Meryda.  
****

Meryda’s sleep was nonexistant after the burst of passion had passed. While Ignis slumbered on now that the horror in his mind was pushed back to the darkness, Meryda held the man and watched over him as he slept. By 5 a.m. she decided that staying in bed would not be beneficial to her mental state, and so she climbed from the bed, careful not to jostle Ignis too much, and headed to the kitchen.

The normally pristine home was in shambles, streaked with blood in some spots and littered with broken bits of debris that had not been able to stand up to Ignis’ loss of temper. How had he been hurting this much and for so long, that no one really realized it? Or had they known and just left him to his pain because he always portrayed himself as perfectly strong and unneeding of such basic human needs such as comfort and care?

For all of her accomplishments since the war and during, seeing the aftermath of Ignis’ terror filled fit, she couldn’t help but feel like she had failed somewhere along the way. Anger boiled up inside of her as she stepped away from the kitchen and began to clean, her body draped only in a long shirt and shorts that she had somehow found in the dark. 

Hours came and went while she scrubbed and scoured the floors and walls. The others began to pour in around eleven a.m. with new furnishings and a promise that the larger pieces would be on their way after noon. Meryda ushered everyone in, gave them a job, and kept quiet while they all set to working.

Strong shoulders were slumped, bright eyes usually full of wonder and happiness were darkened, and fears were running rampant amongst the four other indivdiauls who had stepped into help their fallen friend and brother. While Meryda desperately wanted to offer her own words of comfort, she couldn’t bring herself to speak them out loud because she was angry with them as much as she was herself.

Where had they all been?! Had they truly not realized just how much Ignis was hurting? These questions boiled around in her to the point that when Noctis finally approached her she lashed out and slapped him across the cheek.

It had felt far too good because she sent another one at him that he took without even attempting to protect himself. She didn’t stop until two massive hands reached for her, turning another person into a target who happened to be Gladio. Raw pain broke out through his bloodshot copper eyes but not for the abuse she dealt, it was for the pain they were all feeling inside. It was their guilt that they had allowed Ignis to shoulder everything all on his own. 

Prompto went to his boyfriend, wanting to tend to his bloodied cheek but the King held his hand up to keep him at bay. “No.” He would have this pain and he would endure it as penance for all that his Advisor and friend had lived through without him.

Elizabeth was quiet, leaning against Prompto for comfort while Meryda continued to lash out at Gladiolus until she grew weak and fell into him half sobbing and half screaming out her rage. “I’ve got you.” The Shield whispered, balling his hand up in Meryda’s dark blond hair, pressing her tightly against him like his life depended on hers in this very moment.

That was when they all heard… “Darling?” From the end of the hallway where Ignis was undoubtedly resting…

Meryda jumped when she was called and after the few moments that it took her to gather her wits about her, she climbed from Gladio’s lap and stepped toward the bedroom. The others were hot on her heels, which she hadn’t realized until Ignis’ tired green gaze softened to see his friends looking so defeated.

“What has happened?” HE cooed to them all, his voice still rough and used, but that classic Iggy concern for everyone but himself was wrapped through every syllable. Without warning he was rushed by the people standing inside his doorway as they launched onto his bed and curled around him.

Noctis and Meryda were curled against his sides, prompto draped above the head of the bed so that he was close to Iggy somehow, while Elizabeth got herself draped over Meryda so that she was close as well. Gladio remained at the foot of the bed, his lager body laying down over the jumble of legs.

“I’m so sorry Iggy…” (Noct)

“Me too. We never should have… We should have been here… Iggy!” (Prompto) *Cries*

“You have to tell people Iggy… stop being so damn stubborn!” (Liz) *Crying*

“We’re here… we should have been before but we are now. So sorry Ig.” (Gladio) *Heavy breaths*

Ignis’ heart filled with warmth to see his friends, sister and girlfriend so upset for his well being and despite feeling like a fool for his outburst that had ruined his home, this love being given to him, meant so much. Usually he would throw everyone out of his bed and try to push the attention from himself but today he accepted it.

The rest of the day was spent with everyone curled up in his bed, his King never abandoning his side, with his beloved on the other side where he needed her. They did everything in that King sized bed from resting and napping together, to eating and watching television. 

When night fell, they all remained together, whispering, “We love you Iggy…” 

And for the first time since the end of the war… the Advisor knew that the darkness would never be able to fully claim him ever again. Forgiveness was given without word and promises were made in the silence that they would all be stronger going into the future.

“I love you all too.” Ignis smiled, kissing each cheek offered to him until he pressed his lips against Meryda’s and felt her sigh out all of the heaviness of the day. 

They were all going to be ok...

*******

Hope you liked it!


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